I don't think I'm using time wisely nowadays. Prove? This particular post. I can use this time to study about the heart or redox, or if I prefer, electromagnetism generally. Or at least, differentiation and integration. It's not like I am an 1A student for Add Maths anyway. I should be studying but I don't know why I'm not.

Anyhow, have you ever felt hopeless after trying your best? I'm sure you did or do. I'm tired with everything. Yes everything in my life. No I'm not saying that my life sucks or something like that. I'm just tired because I don't know how to handle it anymore. I do admit I've once thought about suicidal but in the end I concluded that suicidal is not worth any of my pain or anything.
Exams are coming up and I'm going to try my very best again this time. It's not that I'm not trying, you know. Oh yes I don't study in school and all but I spent most of them at home. In the end, it's more like the more I try, the more effort I put in, I'll only face disappointments and failures. I just can't. Aiks.

Maybe it's just me and my negative thoughts again, dang.
I shall be an optimist, just soon.

Just guess when (;

Simply because I don't know when too.

So anyway I think I better go off now. And good luck to all of you who are going to sit for the mid term exam coming up.

Goodnight world!

Now, at 11.53pm on 10th May, I am using my iPod to blog. Har har.

So anyway, I watched "The Uninvited" just now. Long story short it's about this girl who went out of her mind because she saw her dad cheating on her mum. And the story goes on about how she lived in denial and stuffs like that. She even thinks that her dad's new girlfriend is a murderer too but that stepmum is not. Well it's quite complicated if I would want to review about this movie so watch it yourself. Not for Carl Mann to watch or else she'll scream and freak you out like no one's business!

By the way, I got an iPod touch from my dad as a gift for my upcoming birthday. Thank you dad!!

Oh anyway it is confirmed that I am celebrating my birthday. So yes this is what I want my invited guests to do. I want you guys to RSVP as soon as possible so I can work things out faster in order to not make it a mess later. Do you get what I mean? I hope you do.

The theme's not confirmed yet though. Carl Mann, Li Ling and I discusses it hat day but I forgot what was it already. My bad. I've told you that I got short term memory loss.

The venue, time and date are confirmed though. Address, map to the venue and the blue invitation "card" will be given out soon. I don't know when but soon.

I've a lot to say tonight but I am getting lazier than usual so this should be it.

Goodnight (;

I think this time is going to be some boring post about my thoughts.

Hiatus maybe.

That day, after some tertiary education talk, I told myself, "I'm going to get triple degrees in the future. I'll, somehow, get them all."

I told Li Ling about it, and she named me Psycho. Why? Simply because I want to study Psychology, Legal, and ballet. I can study Psychology and Legal in some university, and ballet, out of university. Li Ling got the idea of naming me Psycho from Psychology.

Quote my mum, "How are you going to get the money to pay them all?"

Yeah, quite true. My ballet fees ate more than RM2k last year. Plus exam fees, it's almost RM3k. And that's, only in Jean Gan. I found out from my cousin in Singapore that, it's S$2k per year for Inter. And, we're both in the same grade. So, where is it, that costs more? Singapore, right? Plus the terrible exchange rate today, it's going to cost more than RM4.5k. My mum's right. Where am I going to get the money to pay for them all? University's going to cost a bomb, and, ballet? What if I go to Singapore, or anywhere else but Malaysia to study in the future?

Quote my uncle, "Yes yes yes, next time when you go out to work, and when people ask you what are you working as, you'll say, I'm a psycho lawyer. Then, everyone will know you're psycho."

He's trying to say that I'm psycho.

Quote Ethel, "Why the heck are you an over achiever? What's the point of it?"

Rant: (don't read, if you're not interested. Move on the the next paragraph.)
I know, there's no point in it. But ballet's my interest. I'm going to finish the whole thing. If I fail, I'll try again. My Inter Found exam, was a luck. I passed it. I am 1 of the 2 who passed. 5 of us took Inter Found, and 2 of us passed. I used to think that ISTD is easier than RAD. I used to think that RAD will be harder. But God knows why ISTD is harder in sense of marking, and syllabus. Oh yes, I said it's luck because, I stopped for 4 freaking years, and I only took a year, to brush everything up. My freework was sucky enough. I've never thought that I will pass. I've always thought Jia Xin, Ge Li, Su-Ann and Jasmine will pass except me. But that day, when Jia Xin nudged me on MSN saying that I passed but not her, I was in a huge shock. I thought she was lying. She's...I have to say it - she's better than me in everything. She got good arch, good arms, everything. I have none of it. She's expressive, everything. Me? Crap.

Ok. I'm stopping about ballet.

Anyway, about school concert, I'm joining props and backstage!! (:

Wooots~!

I wonder if I got talent in cutting woods and things like that.

That day, I wondered, why didn't I join games from Std 1? It was merely because, I didn't have faith in myself. I didn't have the confidence to play. Thinking of it, seeing everyone taking medals...it could have been me up the stage. I didn't try. At all. Ever.

Gosh, my life is full of regrets. Like yours, maybe. Or maybe your life has lesser regrets than mine. Life will always be life.

Goodnight.