Oh my god, this is so new! I just visited Kengyee's blog &whoa, this is what I discovered.

HELLO!

Looooook. I'm fascinated. Hmmm.

Should get away from the computer for sometime.

I failed Physics =/

Yikes. I'm super screwed.

But its okay. It's expected ._.

Ohohoh, I want to post something about, something next time when I blog [: Then, I'll go on a super short hiatus, okayy?

&I earned RM0.50 from Nuffnang, wth.

*yawns*

You know, I went down to the playground just now to catch up with Nicole &guess what, just because of that, I realized that I've about a month left for SPM. &I've not started quite a lot. Okay, maybe a little for trials but still! Everyone's finishing them up &I'm still here relaxing. This is so not good! I'm not keeping track of my time. I don't know what am I doing right now. I know that I'm supposed to study but, I just don't want to. I'm so sick of studying, &the pressure, is making it worst. Yikes. Bad bad bad! I shall start studying soon &you will know what I'll be doing at the moment if I stopped blogging, or I'm missing in action online at anytime. I should stop watching tv, &stop touching my computer, or, *evil laughter* use my iPod to check my mails secretly using dad's wireless internet connection.

I'm starting to feel guilty for not touching books now. For this 5 days, I've been enjoying &relaxing &I didn't give a mere thought for Chemistry, Physics, or Moral. Oh wait, Sejarah! I know nuts about Sejarah &I don't want to fail Sejarah for SPM. I failed Sejarah for mid-term &, gosh, that was my first time failing Sejarah in my whole life. My forecast ain't gonna be good, &now I am thinking how to apply for colleges before SPM, so I can get into the January intake. My dad's not going to be happy. Oh nooo. That's what I deserve for procrastinating. Bingo baby. &I'm not going to be home this weekend too. Noooo. Time to study, everything, nooooo. Everything is in a mess. Sometimes I wonder why do I mess things up for nothing when I can make it...clear? I'm screwed. Wait, I'm complaining now too.

I think I should start off with Sejarah. Hmm. No, Biology. Noooooo, PHYSICS. Or wait, Chemistry? Nonono, Moral. I don't know!

I think the past has affected my life. &me, I allowed it to affect my life for nothing. Jeeeeez. I should have not allowed it, yes? If I didn't, I won't be panicking now. I AM PANICKED. SPM is so close, &I didn't realize it until just now when Nicole said, "Oh, SPM is in about a month." When she uttered that statement, I was like, "Huh? What about in a month? Serious? Hmm. *starts thinking*" &when I realized, I started panicking. This is so not good. I repeat, NOT GOOD. I'm not happy. *bangs head*

&also, just now like a few hours back, I visited Hotel626 <--clickclick! &guess what, I had a fright because of it ._. &oh, it's some kind of an adventure online game. Levels to go through &stuff. You can only access it from 6pm to 6am. If you are going to ask me whether I liked it or not, I've no comments. I played halfway, &I got lazy because it took quite sometime to load. I don't have patience. &after that, I lurked around the internet, &I found out that Taylor Lautner &Taylor Swift kissed for a movie called something valentine or valentine something for next year's Valentine movie. I was so heart broken ._. Don't ask me why, but, somehow, I don't give a damn ._. But still!

So anyhow, hopefully I'll get to catch up in my studies soon. I've been missing from school for quite sometime &what, I'm always procrastinating. Bad habit. Sigh. Goodbye world, if I don't blog after this anymore. Goodbye internetworld. Goodbye, entertainment. Goodbye Facebook. Goodbye surveys. Goodbye Twitter. Goodbye everybody. I'll miss you. I should refrain myself from touching this keyboard after this post, or after tonight. &refrain myself from every entertainment, &maybe, a little bit of social. Noooooo. I shall lock myself up in the room &study. Okay. I think I am exaggerating now. Sorry, sorry. Maybe, just start studying smart &hard after tonight. This thing is distracting me, &will distract me forever. Noooooooo.

Take care everybody [:

I want to go to Pukehoke. For Year 13.

Sigh.

To trust someone is not easy. You're worried if they'll betray you like how someone else once betrayed you.

You may say that you will never trust anyone else anymore, but still, you do.

Or, when someone has betrayed you &you decided not to trust that particular someone anymore, you'll still trust that person just because that person does something to gain the trust.

My best friend didn't trust me [that's what she claimed] until sometime after sometime. LOL. Okay whatever I'm saying might not make any sense to you but, this post is about trust.

I didn't want to trust him, but still, I did. No matter how many times he betrayed me, I still trusted him, just because he begged me, or something that made me forgive him &not mind about his mistakes. He betrayed the trust I gave him every single time.

Maybe he has his evil plans to betray me &hurt me till I'm emo enough to commit suicide. Hmm.

It's possible you know.

Q: Do you like me for being boyish?
A: Whether you are girly, sissy, boyish, gayish, whatever-ish, it doesn't affect me because it's still going to be you. It doesn't mean that if you're gayish, you'll be different than you are. You have your own thoughts, &it'll not change, you know. So, yes, it doesn't affect me! [:

Labels: Liling

I went to Pavilion yesterday &yep, I saw Chengyee there. She said hi &I said hi quickly &walked away quickly. Ah I feel bad, but umm, I said hi, okayyy. I know it's rude but yeah Chengyee, if you're reading this, I'm sorry, I won't walk away next time ]:


Oh, I got my dress already too! I'm so so happy. It's not by Carven Ong, or Melinda Looi, or BCBG or anything like that but, at least it's less than RM100, like my budget.

My budget was RM150 [:

Which means I spent within my budget!

:D


It's super tiring when you have tuition at 7am early in the morning. I don't like it at all.

But Mr Kwan is nice enough to let me doze off for less than 5 minutes, which was more than enough. Then, I felt sleepy again, &he keep on asking whether I need another 5 minutes. LOL.

Nice, aye?

Hopefully I don't doze off tomorrow again. It's Physics tomorrow.

&for some reason, my classes are always in the middle of the day this week, which means I can't go anywhere, jeez.


I just sent enquiries to New Zealand schools about Year 13 [:

&to Australian schools about Year 12. I don't wanna take 2 years. But Australia is too expensive. Hmmm.

I don't know what am I going to do next.

What I am quite certain is, to assist Miss Wong in her classes when I go back for ballet after SPM ^^

I'm quite excited!

But wait, I've to take up to Inter, then I can assist her. Damn. Another grade to go.


Some people will never understand how you feel. Yikes.

&I'm trying to stand still.


You may ask why my post contents are in a mess.

It's because my thoughts are in a mess, &so am I.

I don't synchronize them, like iPod D:

I let them be, &be as messed up as an unsynchronized iPod D:

Or files.


Dream guy? I do have a dream guy. Someone like him.

True love? I don't believe in it.

The "one"? I really don't believe in it at all.

Promises? Bullcrap.

One &only? LOL. You're making me laugh.

1 reason why I can't trust a guy ever again : they keep on betraying you, until, you get hopeless &useless enough for yourself to stand up by yourself. You cry &cry, they leave &push you away when you are on your knees. When they're on their knees, you can't help but to give them another chance, because being girls, we're emotional enough. We care, we love but sometimes we wonder, why can't they be like us, so the world will be better &we'll be happy. Sometimes I wish to be mean &hard headed, so I won't be hurt. I want to be mean. I really want to.

Benjamin is right, not all guys are shitty, but, I can't help it but to think so. If you're talking about being good friends, most of them are alright [:

I like plenty of guys to be my friends like Cheeyan, Joey, Benjamin :D

Happy endings in fairytales doesn't exist. Carlmann thinks it does. Well, we both have different perspective on this. Maybe because, I've not moved on yet?

She is weird, but I love her for who she is.

Once the guy says that he's loyal, honest, won't ever leave you, or will love you forever, it means, he's the total opposite of what he thinks of himself, no matter how different he can say he is from other guys. Giving him a chance is like giving up your life, &happiness because you'll get hurt.

If you get a guy who will do all his promises like a friend I know, that's good, because it's rare to find someone who can do his promises. I want someone like that you know. No one wants a guy who makes promises but push them aside.

Leon was in fact different. When he said he's different, he was. When he said he's loyal, he was. When he said he'll love me forever, it did happen for awhile. After sometime, he left, with a reason - he couldn't take it anymore.

If it was really love, would he ever leave?

I don't think so.

But he still claims to have loved me before. If it was really love, he'll try not to leave, right? But he did.

Sometimes he gets me wondering about guys' mind.


Oh Liling, please come for prom [:


Self pity is not going to help, at all.

Yikes.


It's freaking me out that school is ending so soon &I can never go back to school. It's weird when I used to want to get out of school &get into college then university so I can leave home &stuff like that.

You know, when we're younger, we'll have rebellious plans. Hehe, to dominate the world baby.

I really don't want to leave school. School is fun &stressful at the same time. &according to my dad, it's the easiest part of life. I don't wanna leave ]:

Tertiary education part of our life will be so different, yes?

I don't know whether we'll keep in touch or not. I'm going to miss my friends.

I am going to miss my best friend especially Carlmann for crapping all her day with me &let me throw tantrums at her just because I feel upset &pissed.

I am going to miss my close friend especially Liling for letting me go to her house for the fun of it &let me claim her dog as my dog just because I felt like it.

I am going to miss my friends especially everyone for letting me scream, &accept me for the way I am. Not everyone can, you know, especially when I'm loud &look like I am seeking for attention =/


I was digging for my stuffs &I came across to this little handmade paper card from Carlmann for my birthday last year.

Lol, that small piece of paper brightened my day [:

Well, its A4, &I don't think it's small anyway. But she folded it into small piece of a paper.

Her words are inspirational [:


If you ask why I do blog about random stuffs &most of the time, my daily life, it's for my own reference. &maybe 5 years later, I'll browse my September 2009 archives &read this post.

&who knows I might start laughing at myself for blogging about silly stuffs. Memories that will never die is the treasure.

I started a blog in August 2005 just because Litien had her blog link on her MSN personal message &you know, when I was 13, I liked having plenty of accounts online. She had a blog, &I signed up.

I'm still wondering why did I delete my blogs. I had 2 blogs before this, &I almost deleted this blog too. &somehow before I decided to click on that delete button, I thought, "Hm, I might want to read what I blog today, so, let it be." I want to know what I thought of life &things that has happened in the past during school days. Speaking of which, I shouldn't have deleted my other 2 blogs, so I'll have longer archives on my sidebar :P

I browsed it the other day &I actually laughed at myself ._. &I'll start refreshing my memory about what has happened.

Yikes. Some of it can be super lame ._.;


Sometimes I wonder why Carlmann is my best friend =/

Curiousity kills!

She makes me laugh till my stomach hurts almost everyday. She's lame enough to make me sweat ._. She's blur enough to make me bang my own forehead everyday. She's kiddy enough to make me knock my forehead on the wall 3 times thinking why is she my best friend.

I love her for her dumbness sometimes.

But she's not dumb at her studies, at all. Her marks can bring your mood down. Especially when you're sitting next to her, &she's your best friend.

Sometimes I really feel like a dumbo.

Doesn't Dumbo sound familiar?

That flying elephant!


I better go to sleep now because I'll have tuition at 7am tomorrow again. Wish me luck =]

&I'll drive to McDonalds to buy hotcakes!

I love love love hotcakes.

So yes, goodnight [:

Sometimes, I don't think I'll ever let go.


Just feeling emofied again.

I'm not on the bed yet.
I was watching ballet videos, &came across to some intermediate videos. Speaking of which, reminded me of Miss Hiew [:

So yeah this post is going to be about my ballet experience &classes &stuff.

I can still remember her telling us that this inter pas de bourrees exercise is going to be VERY fast &she wanted us to do it. But in the end, the fast she described wasn't as fast as we thought so of course, we, the interfound people could do it better than she thought.

You should have seen the look on her face asking the pianist, "Heh? This is the fastest already ah? How come they can do it one?"

I think someone, or was it me, said that the interfound pas de bourrees exercise is faster. She didn't believe!! She asked the pianist again ._.

&guess what, even the pianist said that interfound exercise is faster than inter.

&that's when Miss Hiew's "oh." face came in. So funny okay. Not as in normal oh. The shocked oh.

&I saw some allegro exercise on YouTube again.

I really want to go back to ballet &get my inter cert. I lost my interfound cert, somewhere. So when I get my inter cert, I can help Miss Wong to assist the class! &Beverly!

Oh Beverly I miss you! Although we didn't talk much &bumped into each other once in the LRT.

&I want to see Jia Xin, &Ge Li.

I so miss last year, where Su-Ann, Jia Xin, Ge Li, Jasmine &I had to go for ballet every Wednesday for extra class. Sigh. I miss it ]:
But I don't miss it when I get screwed for not knowing how to do a free work. I don't like it ._. I got so emo, okay. I almost cried once, because Miss Hiew was so pissed &said something I didn't like. Tsktsk. I mean, I really couldn't do it!!

But still, if she didn't say anything like that I wouldn't put in any effort. &if I didn't, I wouldn't have passed. I passed by 2 marks okay. &if I got 4/10 for another element, I'll already fail because they said if there's more than 3 elements of 4/10, the grade will be N.

Never thought that ballet will be as hard as studies. Jeez. So yes I have to thank God!

&I can never forget that I sweated like a pig when it was only tendu! Tendu is normally like, the second exercise during exam! ._. Maybe I was too nervous.

But anyhow, ever since I stopped [again ._.] I've gained a lot of weight you know. I've become fat, &heavier &when I go back, it'll be hard again! So starting from now, I should lose weight &so by the time when I go back to ballet, it'll be easy. Hah.

It's not going to work anyway ._.

I'm so happy because my dad allows me to go back for ballet after SPM. AHHH. I love ballet &I miss ballet.

ALLEGRO (L) Although I'm slow.

You should listen to Miss Hiew's comments/critics/thoughts about my exercises ._. SAD OKAY.

I know she wants to motivate me but it did demotivate me.

Yikes.

I don't know what rubbish I'm talking about because its already 217 in the morning now.

Anyway, yeah.

I miss ballet.

Goodnight.

I decided to join them today.

Initially wanted to watch a movie with them but...

Then, my best friend &I watched G-Force because I knew I am going to watch Where Got Ghost either today, or tomorrow. But before the movie, we ate at this some weird Korean restaurant, somewhere on top of Little Taiwan.

My best friend eats like a kid, &will always eat like a kid. Have you seen how she ate a slice of cheesecake?! She claims to be eating like a lady, you know.

I don't think so. So anyhow...

After that, we went hunting for prom dresses &found nothing.

We didn't like the Eclipse sales girl. She's like so, PMS.

A few pictures today, not with her.


Our very own booked private restaurant. There's a part where she said we should speak like a Korean speak English because we were in a Korean restaurant. So I imitated a word or two xD. I'm good, aren't I?


Her bibimbap. She loves bibimbap.


1 reason why we love Korean restaurants. Free side dishes baby.


My best friend is so adorable sometimes [:
We were enjoying our bonding time, until her boyfriend appeared.

That's the worst part damn. I mean, it was supposed to be a girls time! But her boyfriend turned up in the end. Jeez.

Liling &I weren't happy, but, there's nothing we could do. Sigh.

It's okay.


We saw a few couples today too!
&we actually aww-ed after seeing them. Corliss laughed out loud in Zara after we bumped into Sin Yein &Melvyn.
She said we aww-ed like we just finish watching soapy romantic movies ._.

I like couples okay. Like Sinyee &her boyfriend, Cheeyan &his girlfriend etc. I like watching those couples talking on the phone &stuff like that. It makes me feel, happy ._.

We even bumped into something weird that freaked me out!

Jing Xuan was pointing at the skeleton &said that's my boyfriend.

&God knows why there's a human in the box. That really freaked me out. Because after I looked at the skeleton, I saw something moving, &I actually thought it was a ghost ._. Oh yes me. I laughed &laughed, &I couldn't stop laughing &freaked out. I'm sure many of the people there sure to think I was seeking for attention but really, I'm not.


Then, we were supposed to leave by 5pm. But since I was following Liling, so I went back late.

I didn't know I am going out with my dad today. He said we're not going out today so I couldn't be bothered about what time I'm going back because you know, I am following Liling back &hence, I can't say much, right!?

Then at 5 plus, my dad called &stuff. &he said I've to be back home by 6pm. I got so pissed because he didn't tell me &he expected me to reach home by 6pm. Liling was trying to cool me down.

Her mum too. I love her [:

She may be strict, but she's good at cheering people up. Maybe they could see it on my face that I was super pissed.

Love you Liling.

&just because my dad wanted me to reach home as soon as possible, her mum had to take me home. Jeez. I still feel bad.

Sigh.

But she didn't mind. [I'm sorry aunty!] She's so motherly to me &yeah, I feel grateful [: Maybe its because I'm always at her place killing time for nothing.

Oh come on, Cash gets excited when I go to her house.


Liling &I had a mini heart-to-heart session last night. Well, not night. MIDNIGHT! We normally have heart-to-hearts right before we sleep for some particular reason.

I actually don't know why but yeah, it's like that.

I'm actually happy to have her as a really, really close friend you know.

She might not understand me sometimes, but she tries her best to do so. Thanks Liling [:

Mwah.

She said I sounded like we're not going to be friends anymore, &I said she cried like I'm dead already.

Although we have downs sometimes, she's always there [:


I shall, leave the blogosphere for a day.

I think I am feeling relieved now, better than just now &all. Why is my mood graph fluctuating? My mood swing disease is getting worst.

Christ.



You know, just now during tuition, I wasn't paying attention at all. I think I need some rest. &it feels weird for being unstress now. Like, there's no exam yet &hence I don't need to rush any subjects.

I think I have to. Like now till SPM.

Sejarah! Darn it okay. DARN IT. I've a bad feeling about this though.

I've a feeling that I'll have emotional breakdown somewhere in October, or early November. Nooooooo. I don't want! The same old thing will happen all over again. Noo.

Let's pray that something like this won't happen [:


I slept at 3am last night just to finish reading the tips that Madam Premila gave us. Gosh. After reading, I didn't feel like sleeping, which made it worst. I forced myself into bed anyway. But when I woke up this morning, I felt like crap. I wanted more sleep.

So I took 45 whole minutes to finish Biology paper 3, which explains why I don't think I can score any better than half for Biology paper 3. Well that's not the only reason. I didn't study Biology paper 3 at all. After that whole 45 minutes, I took the rest of time to sleep [: I wanted to pump my energy up for Sejarah. I'm so hardworking for a day! Which wouldn't turn out any better than my previous term's Sejarah result.



But its okay. I tried my best for Sejarah.

Although I won't be doing well for it.



Oh, I'm going for prom.

What a joy [: Trials are gone for ever baby.
&it's our only SPM Trials to go through for our whole life. Time passes really fast, from the time we wished to be in Form 5, yes?

I became really hyper after trials anyway.


Something really worth watching, if you love dance [:

By the way, the girl's name is Park Shin Hye, 19, from Seoul. I really like her, since Std 6. She's so pretty!
I wish I can dance like her. So sexy.


I strongly believe in karma. If that is how you treat me, you'll get it back someday. Not now, someday. I've already asked for your forgiveness &if you still want to hurt me, it's ok.
When you regret, it'll be too late.
Please don't ever think that I am cursing you. I am not. It's that I believe in karma.


Should I go for prom?


Isn't the dog a cutie pie?
Speaking of Physics, I can't believe that I got quite okay for paper 3. Damn. Now I am waiting for paper 2. Paper 2 is scary.

My best friend said I can get 65 [: Thanks bestie. She never fails to try her best to make me feel happier. Haha.

I feel lousy, somehow.

But just so you know, I love you [:


I just realized, that most of the graphics describe me perfectly. Not so perfectly, but quite accurate.
















Just for today. I like word quotes graphics.