I wonder why my Vaio is not working well with Facebook. I have problems uploading my pictures on Facebook, or is it not my computer but everyone is having the same problem with Facebook? Hmmm.

I tried PappaRich near my house &mamma mia, I liked it! [;

Anyway, I better do my stuffs first yikes.

Moral, you know. MORAL IS A KILLER.

Completing 2 miserable History papers in 2 days made me feel like SPM is over.




But then again, there's Moral, Biology then Physics to feel miserable for. At least for me. I suck in those 2 subjects.




There's EST tomorrow, which I just flipped through 1 exercise to make sure whether to put full stop after every answer for 2 information transfers, &the very few formats for 1 essay. EST will be done by 11am tomorrow, so, hurray. After tomorrow, 6 more miserable days to go.




I left early today, with Joey. We went to KFC to have food, since we were both hungry. Yes I sent him back after that. It was a good time catching up with Joey since forever. Never really talked much to him this year. Yikes.




I really like Emma Roberts. She's really pretty. In Wild Child, Aquamarine, you know the rest. I've not watched Nancy Drew so, cut it off the list.




I can't wait SPM to end. Then I can open my mini blogshop (well not really a blogshop but more like an online catalogue on blog) so I can sell my books, &other nonsense. Another event is added into my schedule after SPM. I'm going to Perth, to Ashley Butler's house on the 21st! Yeshh. After so long, I get to go to Perth again. I'm glad that her parents allowed me to stay there again [:




I was once a big fan of Mary Kate &Ashley Olsen.

I love Le Ballet Trockadero. Well, it's um, guys dancing ballet, with pointe shoes. No, those guys in the Trockadero series don't wear their normal male tights &leotards. They wore tutu. Damn hilarious I tell you. I love watching them now. It's a waste of time, since SPM is next week. GOSH. This is freaking me out, but I'm not studying, yet. Screw it.




I've so much to say tonight, but I am too lazy to express myself. I have another 9 chapters of History baby. ANOTHER 9 CHAPTERS. &it's not even the whole book. I'm only reading the forecast chapters. I can't think of any other method to push myself since History's next week. &I've to finish the 9 chapters today, since I'm quite late from my schedule. I was supposed to finish it yesterday, but I wasted 6 hours for nothing yesterday. Being myself, I'm always procrastinating. So, screw it again.




I can't wait to understand Physics better. I'm so lost in Radioactivity, &anything to do with Electric/Electromagnetic/Electronics. I wonder why I can't click with Physics, at least for now.




Maybe I want to major in Chemistry, since it's not much of a reading subject like Biology or History. Hmmm. Degree in Chemistry. Wooooots. Biology's a really hard subject so yeah. I like Biology, but I am too lazy to even write a 5 sentence essay. I don't know what keypoints to use. I don't know what to write, but I know what they want. Now I'm not making any sense. Yikes.




You know what, I hope I can blog during SPM. During SPM, I've to attend my uncle's wedding in Amoda. SPM will end on the 8th of December, &I'll be gone on the 9th, till dont-know-when. Then, 18th will be WMS Prom Night [; with the theme Zero Degrees. Oh wait, now I realized that Zero Degrees is actually a name of a forum. Hmm. &errr, 5th January 2010 will be my first day of college. &the very first Saturday [if it's not on the 1st of January] of January 2010 will be my first time stepping into Jean Gan again after 1 year [: I'm quite unhappy about the number of days I'll get to waste time. Sigh.




Toast to the horror of SPM.

Quote Jaclyn, "SPM is Suffering Paper of Malaysia."

Ah that girl.

My idiotic gastritis decided to attack again. It caused me pain that I couldn't eat my dinner. Is it because I had guava for tea? &I know my stomach wasn't good this afternoon when we had our mini farewell lunch in the canteen. Now it's hurting so bad. It's distracting me that I can't revise well for History. But I've a dead line - this 7th, I've to finish up! Ah. It's so bloody painful. Screw gastritis. (NOT AGAIN IT'S PULLING.)

Everything has come to its very end. ALMOST!

Today, is 1 of my favorite teacher's birthday. Although I'm not in her class this year, but wait, I was in her class last year [: (Hohoho, there's 99% possibility that I'm going back to her class next year &I can't wait!) Anyway, yes, it's her birthday. My ballet teacher! [: She's the best ballet teacher I ever had, since November 2007! Minus 2009 ._.
So whatever it is...

If everyone were to be emotionless &mean, then life will be completed with nothing. No one will cry out their heart, no one to feel heartbroken, no one to feel what's life all about. If we're all emotionless, we'll be able to move on so easily, without looking back. But then again, is this what we want? Complete happiness, without some heartbreaking moments, some dull moments, some okay-okay moments? Is that what we all want? To an extend, of course. If things were to be completely happy, life will be quite dull, don't you think so? Who wouldn't want happiness? I want happiness. You want happiness. We all want things to happen in a way that we will be happy for, but somehow, it wouldn't turn out to be that way. When it doesn't turn out to be the way we wanted, we'll cry. We'll try to express our very own emotion to anyone. We'll try to express about how we feel so we can feel better. Telling someone about how we feel in fact make us feel better than before. If they respond in a way we wouldn't want to hear, we'll feel frustrated, &even more heartbroken. Sometimes, false hope helps. Sometimes, when we believe in false hope, about how it might turn out to be the way we wanted but in the end it didn't, we'll blame our friend who told us that piece of comfort statement. We wouldn't care about how inconsiderate we are for others when we're upset. We would treat them like rubbish, throw unnecessary tantrums at them who tries to be nice just because they found out that we're upset. It's painful for them too. It's painful for them to watch us cry silently, just because we want to keep our sadness to ourselves. Sometimes we'll think that we're right for doing so, but, sometimes when we do so, our friends will have this silent pain. Face expressions will eventually betray us, when we try to say that we're alright but we're actually not.




It's so weird when we think that our friends are the ones who helped us so much, &they are our bestfriends. In fact, it's not. Our bolster is our bestfriend. When you have a bad day, you'll hug &cry with your bolster to sleep. During the day, when you burst out, you'll still go on your bed, &hug your bolster, &cry. When you feel like the world is tearing apart, you'll still hug your bolster, &cry to sleep.




I talk to my bolster. I talk to my bolster about how good or bad my day was. Call me crazy, but look, it helps. Everytime when I do so, I receive no I-dont-want-to-hear responses, which will make me feel worst. I have another soft toy too, which sometimes replaces my bolster. My soft toy's name is Yellow. Yellow is a gift from Eugene, Jocelyn &Lionel for my 17th birthday. It's the only gift used, because, it's so soft. It's soft enough to hug it to feel comfortable. [Thanks Eugene, Jo &Lionel!] According to them, it's a cat =/ Ever since I got it, I sleep with it every night.




Going through life is our fate. God made it this way. Sometimes we'll say blame God is blind for making things this way, or taking innocent people away from Earth. In fact, God has His own reasons for doing so. We don't know, &will not know. Sometimes it's better that we don't know much instead of knowing every single thing. Knowing too much might get us in trouble. But, knowing too little will get us in trouble too. So, we shall know things at an average rate. You know what, let us be God ._.




Guess what, I got into an accident for the third time today. Oh, third time during parking too. Luckily it's at my condo's parking bay. I wonder if it's out there, on the road. Oh touch wood. Hopefully I won't get into minor accidents anymore. It's scary like crap. Sigh thank God my dad didn't screw me off. Luckily it's my late grandfather's car! Sigh.




I'm still not ready to face the world. I'm not ready to get into another stage of life. Or wait, am I ready yet? Somehow I am, somehow I'm not. I'm not ready because I still have SPM to go through with, &I'm ready because I'm ready all the while. My next stage of life will be in MCKL, starting from the 5th of January 2010. 2009 is ending so soon. I was enjoying myself talking to Carl Mann &the rest 1 year ago just because it was post examination period. &now, I'm thinking about how to brush myself up before SPM starts. Not talking about 1 year later. Time passes really fast. It was seconds ago when I just stepped into WMS. It was seconds ago when I was the female lead for dramas. It was seconds ago when I broke down. It was seconds ago when I said, "screw it, I'm lazy to go to school." It was seconds ago when all events of my life occured. Oh wait, it was seconds ago when I was still in the crib. I miss being in the crib &cry just because I was hungry. You know, time never stops. Sigh. If we have the power to pause time &complete whatever things we've not done, life will be perfect.

I invested so much on books that I thought is good, which turned out to be not, &now I've so many unnecessary books. Jeeeez. Later on, I'll sell them cheaper to make my shelf empty, since my room is loaded with books &other unnecessary stuff - more like I'm going to open a blogshop. Hm, not really, but it's only open to my friends [: Look, SPM's in less than 2 weeks, but I'm still thinking what to do after SPM. Jeez. What's wrong with me ._.

But I can forgive myself, I need a break. You know I think I worked harder for PMR ._. Of all exams, I worked harder for PMR &UPSR. I'm not even throwing a weenie effort for SPM at all. Crap. I mean, I'm expecting credits now. Sigh. Pray hard so I won't get credits. I mean, at least B3s. =/ Sigh.




Goodbye arowana, hope you'll be happy at your new owner's place.

HELLO NEW AROWANA, I hope you're as friendly as our last year's arowana! :D