i'm donkily scared to face the future. everyone is, no?

ever since i got hurt by this certain someone [when people like carlmann, liling, xyun, etc were there by me building me up again], i'm scared to move on. future is getting scarier, don't you think so? anything might happen before you and when it happens, there's no turning back. this kind of fact freaks me out. well, it freaks everyone out.

sometimes, i want someone to be beside me, to listen to whatever i want to say from inside, and not judge me.

i don't deny that i miss his warmth and care. sometimes i still want to be with him. and sometimes when i think over it again, i don't want to. i just, don't know what i exactly want. ever since that happened, my grades are getting worst. i know i could have done better for mid terms but i didn't have that motivation to do so. it's like, studying for nothing.

i can still remember that time when we were studying for PMR 2 years back. he was pestering me to study &study &study. i studied, because of him. i admit that i was stupid to study for him. i cannot deny that he was my everything. in fact, he still is.

so yes girls, never put your boyfriend as your first priority!

actually sometimes, i'm tired of my own life but i know i still have to move on with life. this is the so called beauty of life. it never ends nor pause when you want it to.

sometimes i don't get why must they come in this year, when i am taking my dearest SPM in a few months' time. why can't they knock me down last year, so this year wouldn't get that affected that much?

gosh maybe i am upset just because i am allowing them to knock me off from happiness.




actually, nowadays i am watching sailormoon like nuts. i don't care what you are going to say but i enjoy watching sailormoon.

i shall make this clear, that it is the only anime i watch in my whole 17 years of life. i realized that sailormoon is an anime last year.

ohohoh.

guess what?

i'm listening to sailor stars theme song by hanazawa kae now. i like it so much that its repeating on my itunes now. or, i'll listen to sailormoon violin medley by vanessa mae. oh the sailormoon violin medley will be played on sailormoon when sailor uranus and sailor neptune transforms.

you don't know them?

let me show you!




Sailor Neptune aka Michiru on the left and Sailor Uranus aka Haruka on the right.
like i said, i just found out that sailormoon is not a decent anime afterall.

Haruka is a woman, by the way. at least in the manga and anime. but she dresses up like a man, which i thought that Haruka's a man when i first watched sailormoon.

overall, i like the sailor soldiers from the outer solar system.




(clockwise from top) Setsuna/Sailor Pluto, Haruka/Sailor Uranus, Hotaru/Sailor Saturn, Michiru/Sailor Neptune.
i like them! and i am not forgetting...




Chibiusa/Sailor Chibimoon!


Chibichibi/Sailor Chibichibi moon! (L)
i love Chibiusa's cat, Luna! i actually like the name.

and my favorite sailor star is..




Seiya!! or they call him (ahem, her) as Sailor Star Fighter.
this is another obscene part of the anime. Seiya's a man before transformation and when he has already transformed, he will have boobs and a shapey body. you think?

i think transexual.

and of all sailormoon's transformation, i like..




the Neo Queen Serenity.


Neo Queen Serenity and her child, Chibiusa. oh yes the pink hair girl is sailormoon's daughter.
after blogging about sailormoon, i feel so knowledgable about this particular anime.

oh i wonder if i am that knowledgable about biology, chemistry, physics and history.

ohohoh i just read sailor stars on wikipedia. they said that seiya is always a female. SCARY.

its because they have to hide their real gender or something on earth or something like that. yikes.



that day when i was daydreaming, i went back to my past.

i miss so many things...i miss so many friends.

&the rest.



Oh yes our retarded photo. You dont want to know why this photo even existed =D


Ge Li, Jasmine, Jia Xin, Su-Ann, me.
We used to be close. Sigh.The jean gan cheras branch ISTD inter-found 2008 people.
time to move on ):


i stopped miss amy's classes and started with a new teacher yesterday. i found this tutor recently. and, i have no idea how he/she looks like so.. yeah. i expected a chinese man because the way he texted me is so malaysian-ish. no lahs or mahs or whatever but he used the malaysian way to talk.

so, when he pressed the doorbell, i opened the door (just like anyone would do).

guess what?

a non-asian was at my doorstep. my eyes were wide open and my jaws dropped and remained for quite sometime. then, i know, my new tutor is not a malaysian.

later on, when he was explaining things to me and all, i asked what he's working as, and et cetera. then i found out that he's a lecturer in Taylor's College. whoa, very much for a tutor.

whenever i answer his question correctly, he'll say bravo and i will be like ._. then he asked whether can i speak spanish so sometimes he can communicate in spanish with me. then i knew that he's a spanish. yikes.

things are getting weird. very weird.

and it sometimes freak me out.


i guess i should go now.

goodnight (: