i don't feel good, like really. my head's heavy now, and i have some signals telling me that i'm going to fall sick, again. guess i'm really weak. i did some blood test about a year ago, and it states that i have 0% of antibodies in me.


i just asked my dad about the cf camp. he has yet to give me the answer. i've to ask him again soon.

i really, really want to go, although i know that i will feel left out, and lonely. it's not for any particular reason except because i want to join them, since last year.


projects are piling up, and i'm getting more stressed than usual. gosh.

who knows how to do add maths, ict and morale?

sometimes i wonder why do we need it.

and i wonder why did i even bother to help. my bad. i shan't regret.

quote Xiaoyun, "you sometime amaze me, because you look so blissful in your happy world."

aw!

how did i build my happy world?

i don't know.

i don't know whether i look happy, or sad, or neutral. because, i think i am feelingless.


this is my happy world!
i'm restricting myself from over eating.

you don't want to know how much i eat everyday! i over eat, and in the end, grow sideways. i want to grow upwards, like the beanstalk! but too bad.

i can put on maximum 1kg per day. you may think that i'm bullshitting, but really, i'm not. i tried it once, and i freaked out myself too.

that happened when i over ate the day before. but then, after the food got digested in my stomach, i'll lose weight again. and it goes on everyday, without fail. like a cycle.

well, it's a cycle!


i like complaining like a little kid. i don't know why, but, yes. it annoys people, but, i can't help it.

but there are some things that i don't complain about, and it's still in my heart. i don't dare to let it out, in case of...things? i don't know. but i just don't want people to know.

because it hurts. sometimes complaining doesn't help you solve your problems.


nowadays, i'm always on asianfanatics.net forum to read people's problems, and give them suggestions to help them out. besides helping them out, i help myself out too.

some of the problems are similar to mine, so, i can get a clue on how to solve it.

because of them, i don't regret, or feel sad letting him go. he always get on my nerves by throwing tantrums at me, or showing me his effin (whoops!) attitude.


i want to shop online! but! their sizes don't suit me ):

why must their bust line be so small? why must mine be big? gosh i dislike this. hmph.

i don't care anymore. i will have plastic surgery when i have the money!

you know, i feel upset whenever i remember that my size is actually a size smaller, and i've to wear a size or 2 size bigger because of my bustline? it hurts me so much. i don't know why girls want theirs to be bigger. eg; my own kawan baik, Yap Carl Mann.

bigger bustline = less shopping = sad.

):

i shall not elaborate on this.


seriously, i don't know when am i going to start studying for the term exams.

speaking about SPM, i'm not even touching my books yet! i am completely clueless about F4 work now. and when i fail, i'll complain. and it's my fault for not studying. dang.

can i die? ._.

=.=; @ me.


Mamma mia, here I go again!


I'll build my own confidence again. My promise to You. If I fall again, I'll wake up and try again. I will not stop trying and cry.


So true.

Labels: Miscellaneous, Thoughts