Friday night and the lights are low

Looking out for the place to go

Where they play the right music, getting in the swing

You come in to look for a King

Anybody could be that guy

Night is young and the music's high

I used some lyrics to be the starting point of my post today. How nice.

Alright. What i want to tell is...i think i know why i was emo. Maybe its because i didn't get into leadership camp. I was really, hoping to get into the camp. Unfortunately, i didn't get in. Maybe its my luck. Sigh. It's really, sad, get it?

I felt like crying throughout the day and night. I know some of you will say, "its just a camp, nothing much. you don't need to cry over it. there's a lot more to go through." sigh.

I wasn't active in any extra activities, okay? I've never gone to a camp before. I swear. Since Year 1. Until now. What i want to do in Year 10 is, be active as much as i can. I want to join all activities. How would i know, that Wesley only allow students to choose one for extra curricular?

If i knew that, i won't even bother to answer any questions in the exam. Or, just skip the exam. Sigh.

Whatever i planned to do in Year 10 just fails. Everything's gone. The first one is gone, what about the next one? I doubt i'll do well in any camp activities. As i said, i'm a dong. I can do nuts for myself.

Okay. I think that's all why i was emo. & there's others to.

Okay i don't give a damn about me spilling the beans now.

I'm feeling a little 'funny' because he's leaving this coming up Thursday. I mean, i'm so used of being with that guy for...2 years. When i'm so comfy with him, now, he's leaving, and i won't get to talk to him for years anymore. I don't even think we'll keep in touch. Thank god that i've like...prepared to let him go completely. Or else, Corliss, Li Li and Li Ling will be my shoulder to cry on EVERY SINGLE DAY in school. Or if they don't give a damn about me, then maybe my bolster (yeah, bolster, whatever) will be my 'shoulder' to cry on.

But i think Corliss will be my first shoulder to cry on, anyway. Right, Corliss? =)

As i said, Corliss's like the 7's from Puteri. So, hey, the 7 of you, Corliss is a superwoman aye! 7:1. See that ratio? So. I must be effin lucky to have a friend like her. Wait, the 7 of you, i'll introduce you guys to her. So better online when Corliss and i online. =D

Its like a...whole big change when i went to Wesley. So i really must thank god for knowing Corliss Lee. & i must let the 7 of them know that i'm doing better than the other days in Wesley now, so they wouldn't be thinking of me so much. Or maybe they stopped talking about me now, since its like the 3rd week of school now. Or maybe, they're doing way better now, since i'm not there.

I'm really getting used to the whole school schedule already. Somehow. Maybe because i've Corliss and the others there, converting them into my bunch of good friends.

Somehow, i'm getting close with Corliss in school. She's like...my close friend sort of thing. So nice, got someone to spill the beans in school. She's like Jane! Ah so nice, after telling her how i feel and all.

I should really thank god for what i have now.

Anyway about studies, i think i'm coping a little. Although it's hard, i must pass my add maths exam on the 28th of January! I don't care, i must pass it! Sigh. I think i am that...desperate to pass it. I must take add maths, not commerce or english literature. Sigh. If they give another choice like ballet, i will drop add maths. Seriously. I don't mind studying ballet.

I don't mind studying the history of ballet, and whatnot. I really, don't mind. Study french also i don't care. I will study like heck just to get a distinction for it. Sigh.

What i'm really excited for now is just...wearing pointe shoes on Wednesday. I'm afraid if i'll have blisters on the first time. Sigh. POINTE SHOES. I'm in love.

WITH THIS!

When i see pointe shoes, i feel like dancing with it. Seriously, i really love those pointe shoes, although it hurts, when i stand with it. Its hard like heck.

I'm really...shocked...seeing this arch.

Ah.

Okay better stop talking about pointe shoes and ballet before feeling emo again.

Maybe i get emo easily, no? I don't know. This, i'll let you to say.

PS: i like sonnet 18. and yes, i'm going to love my new friends from wesley now. although some of them might not love me.

Labels: Depression, Friends, Thoughts