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&read before you say anything
Welcome to my online diary. I blog what I want to blog about. Whether thoughts, daily rantings, bitchings, whatever, they're still in my blog. Don't judge them before knowing me personally. You got no rights to. If you don't like them, you can leave.
Goodbye &take good care of yourself.
just me
&me alone
My name is Awesome.
I'm 17 going on 18.
I'm fantastical, seasonal, &magical.
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Saturday, 26 July 2008
Ethel heard of him before.
16:16
For some reason, I'm feeling the guilt now.
It's all because, I feel like I ditched my old group of friends.
And, it's not my fault.
Maybe it is, but for now, I'm not going to admit.
I've moved on.
And I somehow, don't really miss you guys as I was.
And for that, I'm feeling guilty.
I'm really sorry guys.
Its something that I really don't want it to happen, but, I guess I've moved on.
I still love you guys.
Maybe I've grown closer to this new bunch of friends.
I trust them now.
Not all, but some.
I love them as much as I love you guys.
They're the reason I live.
I don't know what made me change.
I used to think that I will never leave you guys.
I proved myself wrong.
Things changed.
I, myself changed as well since I left Puteri.
If I were to list all of them, them compilation would be as long as the school rules.
Yes, I am exaggerating it.
Let me cut off the crap.
I think, I should think of all my friends today and think of what I've done wrong.
After that, I shall admit my mistakes, and apologize.
I know I am supposed to be on a hiatus, but, just because of the guilt, I am posting this.
I know a lot of them dislike me.
There are a variety of reasons.
And, some of them dislike me when I do nothing to them.
It's okay.
I am on Cloud 10.
Yes, not Cloud 9.
So, there's nothing can bring me down currently.
Unless my friends do something to against me, then, yes, it's a possibility for me to feel emo all over again.
They are there when I need them.
They cheer me up when I am about to cry.
With the way they are, I can never cry.
Why?
They're lame, funny, cheerful, annoying, talkative, sadistic (yeah, they like to bully me, especially Yap Carl Mann!), etc.
I am hanging out with them not because I want to be accepted.
I am hanging out with them just because I like the way they are.
By the way, I don't know what I just said because, I just blabbed.
I don't know why my moodswing is back.
Someone please kill me.
I shan't think too much.
But I am thinking that much.
Sometimes, I feel like dying because it's a torture.
I should tell myself to cheer up.
Tomorrow is a Sunday.
And the day after tomorrow is MONDAY!
Yeay yeay yeay whee whee!
I love Mondays.
I don't like Fridays.
ANYMORE.
I guess it's because of...things.
I don't know why.
It's like I am looking forward in going to school everyday.
I can smile to myself like a fool.
My stepmum now said that I am in love, which I don't think so.
But, I shall accept it from her.
Living in denial can make me feel okay.
If I were to face the reality, I'll cry my butt off.
I'm now as happy as anything.
I can never cry easily nowadays.
I don't feel like talking nowadays.
I don't know why.
It's not that I want to avoid everyone and be quiet.
Maybe I'm getting bored with everything.
But at the same time, I feel like talking to them as much as I like it.
Just 'cause they're fun to be with.
I've been skipping meals.
And that result to my stomach rejecting food whenever I eat them.
I love eating, but I don't know what happened to me recently.
Going crazy, I think?
Sometimes I think that being emo isn't worth it.
Right?
And, I think I should learn the art of make-up.
Make-up makes oneself look prettier.
No, I don't say that I look pretty in it.
I just want to play around with it.
I want to learn how to bake too.
I want to learn almost everything, including latin dancing.
Not forgetting ballroom.
Ballet exam is coming soon.
Final term exam is coming soon too.
This sucks.
I am afraid that I'll fail again.
I don't want to fail anything this time.
I've to go on a balanced diet and skip supper everyday.
Miss Hiew is getting annoyed at my tummy.
She doesn't want me to eat fatty food.
I love fatty food.
I love eating fats.
I can't stress how much I love food.
I shall be happy, thinking of him and not let anyone pull me down.
"No one can ever pull you down unless you allow them."
Agree?
I do.Labels: Friends, Miscellaneous, Thoughts
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