Welcome to my online diary. I blog what I want to blog about. Whether thoughts, daily rantings, bitchings, whatever, they're still in my blog. Don't judge them before knowing me personally. You got no rights to. If you don't like them, you can leave.
Goodbye &take good care of yourself.
just me
&me alone
My name is Awesome.
I'm 17 going on 18.
I'm fantastical, seasonal, &magical.
Raya break is on right now, and I am really not in the holiday mood. I feel like going out with friends, but at the same time, I don't. Gosh, I don't know what I want.
Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
1. At what age do you wish to marry? I don't know?
2. What is your most favourite thing to do? Dancing ballet? I don't know. I am not sure either.
3. If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend? Maybe.
4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat ? I don't know!
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be? Be...I don't know. AHAH! I know! I would like to keep it to myself :)
6. Do you believe you can survive without money? Big fat no.
7. What are you afraid to lose the most? Everything.
8. What do you feel like doing, right now? Hm...phone someone?
9. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her? Depends.
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you. Hm...Stephanie? I'm still waiting to see her now because the last time I saw her was in year 2003. She's...I don't know, because the last time I talk as in really talk to her was ages ago.
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half? I'm lazy to type them all. There's too many requirements.
12. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad? Hm...the one who acts cool.
13. What is your ambition? I don't know.
14. Is anyone really perfect? Him? I don't know! But I do believe that no one is.
15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick ? Obviously both.
16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change? Everything.
17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with? I don't know? My stepmum?
18. How do you see yourself in 10 years time? A pig, sleeping on the bed.
19. What is the one thing you love about yourself? Absolutely nothing.
20. If you can make a wish, what will your wish be? *wishes* I rather keep it to myself again. When the time is right, I'll post something about it.
i tag : Li Ling Jasmine Li Li Xiao Yun Jing Xuan Hui Xia Arthur MichelleLiu
'cause you're everywhere to me And when i close my eyes it's you i see You're everything i know That makes me believe I'm not alone
Maybe I should stop being emo whenever I don't get to see him.
'cause it hurts whenever I think of it so, yep.
Booooooo.
I'm now craving for chocolate coated marshmallows. I know that there's yummy ones at The Curve. I ate that there like...4 years back. I can never forget that happy-eating-it feeling.
At the same time...I feel like eating cakes too! La Manila cakes are yummy. Secret Recipe cakes are good too.
I mean, any sweet edible stuff. I don't know why, but I like candies.
I love fruits too!
They're colorful when different types of fruit are chucked together :D
Like this!
I want to eat ice-cream from Baskin Robbins! I didn't eat Baskin Robbins ice-cream for...months. I miss eating it like...every weekend during last year's November-December break. It's an obsession! Right, Jasmine? :D
I think I should eat ice-cream more often again. *yumyumyum*
But I can't eat it soon 'cause I'll be flying away for 6 days and as what I heard from others, there'll be no Baskin Robbins, McDonalds, etc. I don't know what will I eat then. I told my mum that I want to eat a non-halal burger at McDonalds and she called the so-called non-halal burger as...McPork. Yes... I was like *sweat* too okay!
I am taking back my "going on a hiatus" statement.
I can never really go on a hiatus anyway. I shall go with the flow. If I could go on a hiatus as I said, pigs would be flying on air now :D
Now, I kind of agree with Carl Mann that pigs are ugly. But, piglets are cute! Don't talk bad about my piglets. In fact, cartoon pigs are cute. I once said that pigs are cute because of cartoons. Yes, I am blaming cartoons now. Boo.
Okay, I am not. Was saying that 'cause it is true, no? Cartoon pigs are cuter than real pigs. Gah.
Hamsters are cuter.
By the way, I changed my blogskin. I don't know how long this skin will last, but, I'll try not to change it again, because I am super...lazy? Whoops, lazy is not the word. I quite miss my previous skin. Oh well, I need a change. So I took a change.
Nowadays, I've been busy with homework and all, especially Malay homework! I've remaining 3 compositions and literature component to complete. En Rahim actually knew that I haven't finish doing his backdated composition. Yes, he caught me red handed today. He even asked me whether I would like to finish my work with Madam Mathews. The horror, am I right?
So yep, in the end I promised him that I'll complete his compositions by Tuesday. I know, what a brilliant idea. I don't know why I promised him anyway.
Actually, I told him that I didn't bring the book today - which is true. But he insisted that I didn't do his work, and I can't deny it because it is also true that I haven't start writing anything for that particular practice. So far, I've done rumusan, Anak Laut, and grammar. So now, I've Bukit Kepong and 3 other compositions to do. Freak, I've no idea whether I can complete them all in time. I am afraid if he really sends me to the office.
If he really did, I'm grounded by my dad. Dang. I can't imagine that.
I shall not procrastinate anymore. Yes, I shouldn't procrastinate, but on the other hand, I am lazy when it comes to completing Malay homework. I just don't like doing Malay homework. I don't mind if you give me 100 Additional Mathematics problems, but not Malay grammar, or any easier task. If you were to ask me why, the reason is...I don't know.
And oh, Carl Mann, Corliss, and Li Ling are in Singapore, for the student exchange program. I would have gone there, if I didn't choose to go to Australia. I only came across to know about this Singapore trip thing after my dad paid for the Australia trip. It shucks in a way. I'm going to Australia in 2 weeks' time without any of my close buddies! They're so lucky that they went there together. Sigh. 2 and a half days in school without them is pure lonely. All those laughter and everything else normally make my day! :D
That's why I love them. Carl Mann would disturb - no, bully me like crap. We would talk the day out and sometimes, get lost together in a lesson. Daily routine yo. Corliss would make me laugh with her actions and thoughts. Yes, her thoughts amuse me. As for Li Ling, I don't have any comments, because, she's the most sick one among us. Yes, I got that "sick" virus from her. So if I talk in a sick way with you, blame her, people! :D Okay, that's rubbish. (Kidding okay, Li Ling!) I love 3 of them. Wait, to be exact, my gang :D They're all cool, funny, amusing, lovable, talkative, amazing, fantastic, and everything that I can think of.
Before I forget, somehow, I became Barney, Carl Mann became that green dinosaur with the blankie all the time, and Jing Xuan became that yellow dinosaur.
So, now, call me PURPLE DINOSAUR! :D
I actually wanted to blog about my trip to Avillion, Port Dickson approximately 2 months ago but, again, I failed. That trip is so memorable that whatever happened on the way there, etc is still fresh in my mind.
I'll blog about it someday.
If I could stay in Avillion, I wouldn't mind living there for the rest of my life. The breeze there is super relaxing. I love beaches. Don't you?
If you do realize, this post is broken down into a few parts.
The icons are the dividers. So icons, thank you very much for becoming the dividers between parts.
And the icons are arranged from right, to the center, to the left, and to the center again, and right, and so on.
I actually don't know why I did it, but, oh well.
P/S (for Carl Mann): I tried poking Amos for the past 3 days but I failed because he moves fast. I mean, faster than I do. I am slow anyway. Heh. And, er...someone is missing you? He told me. Haaaa. Happy? :D I know you are.
Don't deny.
Come to think of it when I looked at my list of archives...I don't know why I deleted my previous 2 blogs. My Form 1 and Form 2 blog. If I didn't delete them, I'll be using it now. I'm still not clear with the reasons though. I wish I knew why I deleted both of it. Now, I can't even read what I posted about 3 years ago.
Okay...
I just realized that I've been blogging for 3 years since August 2005. I can never forget my first post. It was like super short. I mean it. My first post when I started blogging was a sentence long.
Hopefully I won't delete this blog.
P/S (Carl Mann, Corliss, Li Ling): Guys, please come back from Singapore soon! I'm going to die of boredom soon if you guys are not contacting me any sooner! When you guys are back and read this post, please text me. I'll be waiting for your texts.
Being around the 7's are like super weird. I've no idea why but I feel so. It's like...they're a bunch of strangers. Damn, I've moved on, no?
Oh well.
Some sort like a tag thing.
Okay so, name any of your 3 friends or more and follow what is written below.
- Name of friend - Picture (optional) - Nicknames (if available) - 2 to 3 things you think he/she likes - 1 to 2 things that you think he/she dislikes - 1 thing which is special about him/her - 1 thing that you think is interesting about him/her - 1 thing that you can comment about him/her
After that, tag 8 of your friends which can be either in the list or not.
#1
- Corliss Lee Ching Yi - Lissilee, Goldfish Lee, Liss, Cor, Corlyfries - Jazz, violin - People being rude - She cares for everyone. - She's bony. - She's underweight.
#2
- Yap Carl Mann - Perasan-Shit, Yuppy Curry Manny, Manny, Manni, Carman's Energy Food Bar, Ah Mann, Carl Mann - JAY CHOU, JAY CHOU's productions - Hamsters T.T - She's narcissistic. - She's lame. - No comments, 'cause I have too many comments. LOL. Love her to bits man.
#3
- Ng Zhen Yie - Zaangeliney, Zhennie, Zhen - Cheerleading, true friends - Too many things to list out. - Oooh, many things to list. - Being herself. - Zhen Yie is lovable!
#4
- Jasmine Kok Puey Kenn - Jazzywuzzy, Jas Mine, Jas, Jassy, Gassy, Min Min, darling, babe - Baskin Robbins! Coffeeeee. - Er...studying? I don't know. - She has white hair. - She has a brain which is made of sponge. - She is...too serious.
#5
- Chiew Li Ling - Ah Ling, Li Ling, Lingi - Gossip Girl? Dieting. - This...I am not sure. - She has fangs! :3 Ok joking. She laughs. - She laughs with me. And at me and everything. Like me. - Lingi? Nope.
#6
- Jane Yeow Yeng Pei - Jane Jane, Pei Pei, Yeng Pie, Janey - Oh, HIM! And healthy food. - Two-timers. - - She can still be skinny even when she eats more than me. - I ah-dorrr herrrr. She is fun.
#7
- Geraldine Liew Hui San - Ged, Gerry, Jerry - Food, playing - - She is a bag of bones. - She eats too much and yet she is bony.
#8
- Kumuta Palan - Kumi, Takumu, Muruku, Lame-muta - Vegetable, - People calling her Lame-muta - - - Kumuta, stop being a vegetarian for my sake.
- Ho Wee Ru - Wee Wee, Ru, Howee, Weeru - guitar, food - people ignore her - she can make you laugh - her legs are way shorter than her upper body lol - nothing
p/s: sorry if i didn't post some pictures for some people. i was getting too lazy to search for it and some are unavailable. anyway, love you guys.
When all the clouds darken up the sky way There's a rainbow highway to be found Leading from your window pane To a place behind the sun Just a step beyond the rain
I'm sick with "Somewhere Over The Rainbow".
Been playing it for the past 3 weeks repeatedly everyday. *yawns*
It's super funny when everything's in a mess during rehearsal. Yep, I was laughing my ass off today, during rehearsal, because it was totally in a mess and Nik ran 2 rounds when he was supposed to run once.
Oh well.
The real one is in...2 weeks, so, we've to polish up.
This has been a passion since 2004, ever since I watched some ballet movie after UPSR. If I had not mistaken, it was Sleeping Beauty and Swan Lake. I used to be bored with those toes and everything. But somehow, everything changed within a split second.
I've no idea why I stopped ballet after 2 lessons of Grade 4.
As far as I remember, it was because I lost my interest in it and...etc.
I wanted to go back to ballet at 13, but failed as my dad didn't allow because of the transportation and I was still staying in Seremban.
I tried going back to ballet every year but my dad doesn't allow me to until last year, because I was about to move from Seremban to KL. I tried a day out after PMR and I refused to stop because the passion is there. I don't want to stop.
I really don't want to.
I am just in love with ballet.
MINOR UPDATE @ 2051:
This is one of the set exercise for Advanced 1 class. Isn't it nice? I saw the students from my ballet school doing this set exercise before. Gah.
The more I watch ballet set exercise and solos, the more I think of becoming a ballet dancer. Oh well, I shouldn't, because I'm short. A normal ballerina's height must be effin tall to be a full time ballet dancer. That's what Corliss said. I don't know.
Dad, if I don't stop ballet next year, it's because I'm in love with ballet.
Gosh, we talked, ate and do a lot of things like crabbing (i've no freaking idea whether this word existed but they said it's crabbing), swimming, plant someone's leg into the sand and eat.
And oh, MONOPOLY! I swear that they were addicted to the Monopoly game for 2 nights. I was bored with Monopoly so I didn't want to care at all.
I don't think I had enough anyway. I want more! :D
Gosh, it's not even half of the day and I'm already missing you guys. Anyway, yep, I really enjoyed the trip. And oh, thanks for making it through.
I have so many things to say from the trip but...I am lazy to type them all into words. I'll use pictures when I have gotten them all because I am still waiting for some. It'll not be complete without all, no?
I got tagged by Nicole last month and I wanted to post yesterday but whatever.
Biodata
First Name : Yuenmay. Nickname : Yuen Yuen, May May, Yuennie, May Yuen, Mahyun (Thanks to Min Jia!), Toto Name you wish you had : Hm, those unique ones, like what my mum gave me but it's not in my birthcert though. What do people normally mistake your name as : May Yuen! Birthday : 16th June 1992. Birthplace : KL Time of Birth : 8.40am Single or taken : Taken. Zodiac sign : Gemini
Your Appearance
How tall are you : I have no freaking idea. Wish you were taller : Yep. Eye color : Dark brown. Eye color you want : I've no idea. Natural Hair color : Dark brown. Current Hair color : Dark brown Short or long hair : Short, for now. Ever dyed your hair a bizarre coulour: No. Last time you did something dramatic with your hair : No. Glasses or Contacts: Both. Do you wear make-up : No. Ever had hair extensions : No. Paint your nails : Yep.
In the opposite gender
What color eyes : I don't care. What color hair : No blonde, no "ah beng" Shy or Outgoing : In between? Looks or personality : Personality, of course. Sexy or Cute : LOL BOTH. Serious or Fun : Hm, both? Older or Younger than you : Older. A turn on : Hm...I am too lazy to list them out. A turn off : (Ethel, please help me to list them, because you know it better than I do. And I'll eventually agree.)
This or that
Flowers or Chocolates : BOTH. I like flowers and, I love chocolates. Rap or Rock : Neither. Relationship or One night stand : Relationships :] School or Work : School. Love or Money : Love, and money. Movies or Music : Movies Country or City : Both! Friends or Family : Both.
Have you ever
Lied : Yes. Stole something : I think so... Even if I did, it was because I am still a kid! Smoked : No. I used to wish to try. Hurt someone close to you : I guess so. Broke someone's heart : Yep. Had your heart broken : Yes. Wondered what was wrong with you : Yes. Wish you were a prince/princess : Sometimes. Liked someone who was taken : Long time ago. Shaved your head : No. Been in love : Hah. Used chopsticks : DUH. Sang in the mirror to yourself : No.
Favorites
Flower : Roses? Candy : Too many. Scent : Too many. Let me bring you to the Body Shop and you'll know. Color : Hm. Movie : Hm. Singer : If I were to say that they're my favorites, it'll be a lie, so, yep, I don't have any favorites. But when I like a song, I'll get obssesed over it. Word : HAH, haha, lol, hehe, dang, darn it, damn it, etc Website : I've no favorite websites. Location : Selangor Animal : Hamsters!
Shotgun
Ever cried over someone : Yes. Is there anything you wish you could change about yourself : Sorta. Do you think you're attractive : No. If you had to choose a fairytale as your life what would you choose: Why would I want to choose a fairytale to be my life? Do you play any sports : No, but I like a few.
Link to your tagger and post these rules. List (8) random facts about yourself and tag (8) people.
Random Facts
1. I like to sleep? 2. I am lazy. 3. I care for my friends. 4. I can get over obssesed over something for a duration. 5. I am going to be 16 in 2008. 6. I don't like to go to school because I am lazy to study and I get sleepy in class. 7. I like to watch Tom and Jerry because Jerry is so cute! 8. I am bad in Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Additional Mathematics. (Ah, all those new subjects!)
Tags 1. Leon 2. Corliss 3. Jasmine 4. Li Ling 5. Jing Xuan 6. Carl Mann 7. Brenda 8. Chea!
Maybe this is the last post for this month. I don't know. Just maybe.
.. I got tagged by PhooiSze last month.
1) What is your dream when you were in your childhood? - i can't remember, really.
2) Rainy days or sunny days? Why? - hm. neither. i want it to be cloudy, and a little cold. cold, i mean the temperature must be 26 degrees celcius everyday. dream on.
3) Which do you like the most? Black or White? - hm both.
4) Who would you marry? - Takeshi Kaneshiro.
Sorry but, i really suka him.
5) Where is the place you would like to go most? Why? - too many to list.
6) Who are you most afraid of losing? - hm.
7) When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do? - i don't know.
8 ) What is the one thing you can never tired of? - sleeping.
9) If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him? Or just keep the secret in the heart, observing by yourself? - depends.
10) Have you ever been cheated or cheat someone’s love?? - i don't know.
11) Which preferably, text or instant messaging? - instant messaging because my phone bill won't get affected.
12) If you could choose to be a celebrity or model, which and why. - hm i don't know.
13) What is your ambition? - i don't know. i am still thinking.
14) Would you rather be someone else at this moment? - i don't know. maybe.
15) If you could have 1 dream come true, what would it be? - oh i know! be a #1 scholar.
16) What will you do if the world ends tomorrow? - see...*coughshimcoughs*
17) Who’s your favourite cartoon character? - TOM AND JERRY!
18) What do you think that is most important in your life? - academics and *coughshimcoughs*
19)What do you need now? - too many to list.
20) If you could choose something to carry along with you to your afterlife, what would it be? - hell bank notes yawns. (Phooi Sze's answer. and i agree with her.) plus brains.
I tag: 1) Jasmine 2) Ching Yi Corliss 3) Li Ling 4) Hui Xia 5) Jia Huei 6) Ai Ru 7) Jing Xuan 8) Carl Mann 9) Arthur 10) Leon
I got tagged by Phooisze ages ago with the letter "L" (OH maybe she knows i like L wth). It's something that you must list ten things that starts with the letter "L". So... *coughscoughs*
1) Luck I need lots of luck.
2) London Omgsh. I really want to go to London! Since...Form 2? I don't know. I am still finding out why i am so 'obsessed' with London. No one can tell me why 'cause i don't even know why myself. I like London more when i found out that the Royal Ballet School is in Covent Garden, London. I don't know lah. I am being stupid i think.
3) Love I know nuts about love. I am a sucker at love. But i still choose this thingy because it starts with the letter "L".
4) Loy Loy is a character in some ballet movie; Giselle. He's Giselle's lover. Wait, why am i talking about this?
5) Learn I am learning to learn & realize.
6) Lies You know, sometimes people lie to protect themselves but eventually the lies will be known. Personally i lie to protect myself. The last time i lied was...ages ago. I don't find the point of lying because sooner or later it'll be known by people. What's the difference by letting them know now & later? It makes no difference, to me.
7) Laugh As you all know, i laugh for 24/7. Damn. I don't know what happened to me since...Form 1. Yes, i laugh everyday since Form 1. I used not to laugh that often when i was younger; during primary days. I guess i got this habit of laughing when i was hanging out with Fiona during Form 1. I don't know. I want to be as quiet as a mouse, really. But i can't help myself but to laugh. It's a 'bad' habit.
8) Live Live life to it's fullest. I know some of my friends who hates life. But you have to face it. You have a long way to go. To go through the whole journey, you got to be strong. Those who hates life will make it worst. I experienced that myself. Life will be better if you love life itself. I am lovin' it. To be honest, sometimes i do think that my life sucks. But in general, everyone's life is the same. It's how you make it to be. I chose my own choice. I chose to be sad & emo. That is why i am crying every night. It's my own choice. You can choose to not care about unnecessary matters & live happily. Sometimes, the choices are limited & that will force you to choose the only hard choice in life. Well, it's in my own point of view. You might not think the same as me, so, no offense. *smiles* Sounds like i am nagging. What the heck.
9) Le Meridien It's a hotel. I've no idea how does the rooms look like.
10) Lemon Meringue My favorite among the 10 things i listed! It's because Lemon Meringue is from Baskin Robbins. I adore Baskin Robbins. I've other favorite ice-cream from Baskin Robbins too! Cookies & Cream, Twinberry Cheesecake, Strawberry Cheesecake Louise, Mint Chocolate/Chocolate Mint (i forgot) & many more. I love Baskin Robbins. Lemon Meringue is nice toooooooo~!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
List out 5 presents you wish for:
1) MacBook 2) go to Australia for education 3) more $$$ 4) more holidays! 5) go to the Royal Ballet School for the summer school
The person who tagged you: Brian
Your first 5 impressions of him: 1.) Nice 2.) 0.0 3.) 4.) 5.)
The most memorable thing he has done/given to you: Oh he helped me to buy some notebooks because the queue was really long at the bookshop. & he willingly help without caring the cost.
If he/she becomes your lover, you two will: I don't know.
If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be because: I don't know.
Who is number 3 having a relationship with? Some white girl in New Zealand i think?
Who is number 5 having a relationship with? No one. Arthur is lonely.
If number 2 and number 3 got together, would it be a good thing? MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW.
What about number 4 and number 5? I lagi don't know because they don't even know each other.
What is number 3 studying? I don't know.
When was the last time you chatted with number 5? I can't remember.
Does number 4 work? Yes! For "PZ Entertainment".
Would you be with number 1? LOL. Due to status upgrade, we are together. (Jane, don't live in denial!)
How about number 5? Hm. I don't know.
Does number 2 have any siblings? YES! The Beethoven small boy.
How did you get to know number 2 and number 4? I know Corliss when...we were in WMS for the entrance exam last year. She came up to me when i was lonely. Phooi...i can't really remember. Was it on Yafro? OR Brenda? Omg i can't remember. I'm old.
Where does number 1 live at? Taman Ujong, Seremban.
Is number 3 the sexiest person in the world? I don't know. Maybe for some people.
Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total 20 questions, then tag to 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
1.) Angelic or devilish? Or a mixture of both. I'd rather label myself as devilish.
2.) Rainy days or sunny days? Why? Neither. 'Cause i hate rain & the hot sun.
3.) Which do you like the most? Black or White? White!
4.) Who would you marry? Takeshi Kaneshiro? (OH DREAM ON!) Logically, i don't know.
5.) Where is the place you would like to go most? Why? Many places. I want to go to Korea, Japan, Italy, France, England, Greece & many others to see the world. I would want to go to Australia or London to further my studies. Actually, i've nowhere to go.
6.) Who are you most afraid of losing? Hm. I don't know.
7.) When you encounter a sad moment, what would you do? Be alone.
8.) What is the one thing you can never tire of? Nothing.
9.) If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him? Or just keep the secret in the heart, observing by yourself? I don't know.
10.) Till now, what is the moment that you regret most? For being with him?
11.) What are the requirements that you wish for your another half? I don't know.
12.) Which type of person you hate most? I don't know. I don't specifically hate anyone.
13.) What is your ambition? I don't know. I planned to be a ballet performer, but i doubt that my dreams will come true 'cause my dad will not allow me to pursue my career in performing arts.
14.) Would you rather be someone else at this moment? Sort of.
15.) If you could have 1 dream come true, what would it be? Whoa. I've too many. I can't choose one of it, 'cause they're all related.
16.) What will you do if the world ends tomorrow? Sleep.
17.) Who's your favourite cartoon character? I don't have any.
18.) What do you think that is most important in your life? Many things.
19.) Describe your dream house If i were to describe my dream house, it'll be an essay about describing my dream house. So, forget it.
20.) If you were to choose a character in any movies, which character will you choose to be? (heck, my english sucks.) GISELLE!
I closed my blog 'cause i didn't feel like blogging. That doesn't mean i feel like blogging when i am now posting something. Okay fine. I am just feeling neutral & lazy. I feel like sleeping.
- - - - -
Anyway i just said goodbye to my first term examination today. Ah. I am now feeling so relieved & relaxed. Guess i really flunked my papers. I suck at Science okay!
Oh well. They're supposed to be forgotten now.
I passed Physics with a C6. Oh did i say Physics? Heck, i am really bad at Physics. Thank god i passed. *smiles widely*
Although it's something that i am not proud of, i am still happy 'cause i passed. I was expecting for a fail though. Shockingly i passed.
My dad said it's not good. To my dad, everything is not good.
That's why i hate to face my dad. Sometimes i wish that i could die, just like that. Its really pressuring.
I know i am not as smart as Jasmine. I am not even as smart as an average student in school. I know i am far below average.
Anyway, i better get going now, because my eyes are killing me.
You know, i have like...a lot of homework to do this holiday? I've homework for every subject! Except for Civics & History? Hopefully i won't be lazy & finish my homework by Sunday. 'Cause i am really lazy. I do things halfway. I give up halfway through. My ballet teacher said i give up easily. Hm...
I explored my computer files. & i found things like...
Do you remember, those moments we had? Had you forget? When we first knew, when we first kissed, when we first held hands. Don't you miss it?
I do, my love.
Tell me, how do you feel now. I want to know, because i care. I want you to be happy. I'd rather be, sad. I'd rather carry your sadness away from you.
I love you, my love. Tell me that you love me. "Love's the thing we want", tell me.
My love, tell me how you are now. It has been long, since we've last spoke.
I miss you, my love. Why'd you have to go?
When you walked away, you didn't turn back. I want to know why so. Did you feel anything? I felt it.
I felt sad, angry, disappointed. I felt sour. I didn't feel sugar.
I wondered, wondered deeply. When are you coming back?
Is it good there, tell me. I miss those times when you used to tell me everything.
Now, I apologize for being cold towards you in the past, my love.
---
When i cry, you'll tell me not to cry. Because when i do, you will cry too. Or when i do, your heart breaks into pieces.
You always want me to be happy, no matter what happens. But that couldn't happen, because you left me with a broken heart behind.
You said you wouldn't leave me anymore. You broke your promise. I couldn't do anything to stop you from doing so.
Why did you break them? You said, you didn't mean it. To me, you didn't even care about the promises we made.
Eventually, you broke my heart even more. Who's going to mend it? No one is.
Thank you, for acting like you cared. But in fact, without me knowing, you don't care.
---
There's like 2 of them. I wonder whether did i wrote them myself? Or its from somewhere? I used to copy and paste lots of things.
I can't recall anything.
As i said, i have a short term memory.
Whatever it is, comment it. I don't care whether if its a bad one, i just want to know what you guys think, regardless whether i wrote it because i forgot.
Even if we don't get to be together or even good friends, i don't give a damn now.
22:56
FUCK YOU, ADD MATHS.
Its only like the beginning of my new school life, and you've already like killed me with the first add maths test. I mean, why MC only? Its so unfair. Sometimes. Maybe its not, but thats what i think!
&, why do people think that Weiken is my IG? He is not my IG at all. Someone else is my IG. And that IG knows who is that himself. =X I mean my IG knows who is that IG.
&, i don't have any IG anymore, because i gave up in everything. My IG is an un-baptisted Christian. So, it's like, he's an unofficial CHRISTIAN. So goodbye, Christian boy. Sigh. If my dad knows that i am crushing on a Christian guy, i'm totally dead. Or even if it's not that issue, we won't get to be together because it is impossible. I'm still missing my ex, so, goodbye, IG. Looking at IG's back reminds me of him. I nearly cried during English lessons. It hurts me deeply inside.
&, why must add maths be effin hard?
&, why must WMS students be so...i don't know what word to use to describe. I was talking to Keongi about things during...after school in the canteen and everyone was like...,"Keong, your girlfriend?" or "You like her?" or "She likes you?". I was like 0.0 and then they were taking pictures of us talking and even desribed the whole thing like, "Whoa, they look very good together," like what the heck. I really don't know what to say. And in the end, i was like, "Keongi is my brother!" and Keongi was like, "My pet sister *smiles*" and they were all, "HUH? Sure or not!" we even said that we will never hook up. Yes, that will happen. I mean, we will not get together!
&, i blogged today because Lissi said its time for an update. Not a long post. Its a weekday today, yo. No time to post a long one. This took like...i don't know how long because i didn't keep in track.
So, goodbye. If i don't blog, it simply means that i have nothing to blog, or i am keeping ideas to blog later when i blog, so my post will be long. I don't like effin short posts like this.
Or maybe, i don't feel like blogging, or i feel that my english is not good enough for a post.
I'm considering of closing my blog anyway because I'm losing of ideas in blogging and i must get rid of the internet (which i doubt i can)!
I mean, for real. I don't know what to say. If i say it's good or/and not, i have my own reasons.
Okay.
Let me list them out:
WHY DO I THINK ITS GOOD?
1. We get to learn how to be a leader. (trust, responsibility, punctuality, correcting our bad attitude to good, think wisely, work together no matter what happens, etc) 2. We will learn how to forget and to forgive. In other words, not to scold/quarrel with other people for their mistakes. 3. TEAM WORK. 4. Get to know other Wesleyans =D 5. My first camp leh! 6. The games was fun =3
WHY DO I THINK ITS NOT GOOD?
1. I didn't get to do anything. 2. People mistook me as a form 1 kid, and she (a member from my group) was like, didn't respect me as a senior. 3. That girl is like taking everything away, even when i'm the assistant leader. 4. I hate it when people takes my position when i'm the one. 5. I hate my group for the unfriendliness in them. (some of them, especially that girl) 6. THAT GIRL IS LIKE DOING EVERYTHING BY HERSELF, AND I WAS FREAKING LOST IN EVERY ACTIVITY WHEN SHE WAS THE LEADER FOR MY GROUP, UNTIL MELVYN TOOK THE POSITION AS A LEADER. WHEN SHE WAS THE LEADER, SHE DIDN'T EVEN LET ME TO DO ANYTHING. GET WHAT I MEAN? I paid RM65 for the camp, to experience the camp, but i got nothing. 7. Some of the games are boring.
Okay.
Let me write about the whole thing.
Yesterday, school ended at about 2pm, because the participants must register and collect our 'red packet' at the canteen, then collect our things from the arts room and transfer them to our respective 'rooms'. The block B became the girls' dorm and C became the boys'. Right after we drop our things at the room, we'll have to go to the Chapel for the open ceremony.
When i was registering, the prefect called out my name as..."YOO AN MAY" instead of "YUN MAY" or something similar. I told her its "Yuen May" and she gave me that bloody tone in speech. I hate that prefect.
After the camp was declared open by Mrs Mathews, we had this...ice breaking activity.
We've like...get a partner (mine's Josephine). Oh yes, got something for you to know too! I'll make it into a conversation. (the prefect-in-charge, students, Yuen May, Josephine)
Okay, now, we'll have this ice-breaking activity. Get a partner. HUH!? Preferably the same sex, and the same size. WTF EY! *laughs like shit* This is what you got to do. When i say horseback*, countburry (?) and knight, you've got to do it. *demos were included* *laughs* OMG. *laughs* How ey? I carry you okay. Eh no! Can't. I carry you better. Woi, how heavy are you? I'm very heavy one lar. WTF. Whats your weight? *inserts number* WTFWTFWTF. I'm *inserts number* okay! OMG OKAY.
Then, we did what we were supposed to do. We had this thing that if you can't get it, you'll get eliminated. Jo and i did the wrong thing. WTF.
Carl Mann and Julia were partners.
Corliss and Chern Li were partners too.
Slowly, when more people got eliminated. Seriously ey, Carl Mann and Julia got into the top 3 couples there. The form 2s and form 4s were supporting their respective forms.
Shit ey, Jo and i laughed at that ey. Of joy. And happiness. For Carl Mann.
I mean,among the 3 of them, Carl Mann and Julia are like the...only girls there. And i really salute Carl Mann for carrying Julia for like...minutes! She's a superwoman, i think?
Then, the prefects told us to open the 'red packet' to find out which group we're in.
Shiat. I'm in frog.
We're supposed to act it out to find our team members. Frog = jump up. Haha. I walked around. Then i saw 2 'frogs' jumping - Jeremy and Eunice. I was like, 'oh frogs! *jumps like them*' While jumping, i laughed.
When we got into our respective groups, we gotta do more activities, like introduce ourself and draw faces. Okay well, the name of the animals were created to divide us. The real groups' names were different. And its themed under philosophers. That reminded me about the Girl Guides Annual Camp back in Puteri. Cleopatra? I don't know.
My group's Zeno (we'll get to know it as soon as we get our badges. then Eunice asked whether if she wants me to write my name or her to write. i gave her to write in fact. she wrote it as Yuan May. oh, then i knew why the prefect called me "YOO AN MAY". stupid typo. my name is YUEN MAY, get it? you pronounce it as YUN MAY. i don't know why is there an E there anyway.). As i said we gotta draw faces? We were have to draw Zeno's face. How would we know!? I think Jack is the one who drew some face. With a pair of Harry Potter's glasses. & janggut.
And our motto is, "JUST DO IT" because we didn't have any other choices anymore.
DANG. Then it was time for tea break.
After tea break...
We proceeded to this...some games. I can't remember. We were supposed to do something. We got the last place anyway. Why, i think it's because of there's no communication and all. Whatever it is, it's not my fault.
So i don't wanna talk about the games.
Melvyn said we are blind because we couldn't find the thing that we're supposed to find, when it's in front of our eyes.
Chings.
After that, it was dinner! I love dinners.
After dinner, we'll have to participate in this Mystery Game. This Mystery Game's something like...Cluedo. We'll have to find who did it, why did s/he killed the particular person, and what weapon.
And those words was in JAPANESE. Stupid ey. Can die looking at it. I don't even understand it.
First spot was like...the library but we were blind wtf.
& the task is...beat the prefect in ping pong. After beating it, we can ask for clues. The questions must be reasonable. Dang.
Oh yes. This is how i started to hate my team members. There's one part where we took some clue from Arthur, and its mirror-nized. So if we were to read it, we'll have to reflect it. Thank god i knew how to read it. Then i was saying lah, i think it was a little too loud. Some of the members was like shouting at me, "SHUT UP LAH!" I was annoyed. And when they were about to take a picture of it, Arthur took it. Boohoo. I know what it was lah. Since they asked me to shut up, so i shut up lah.
When they didn't get to take the picture, someone asked whats that. I replied nicely, "since you asked me to shut up, so i'll shut this up."
I was freaking annoyed.
Then, i didn't care much about it.
& we were supposed to go to this "cctv" room for the videos to find out those clues.
After we completed it, we'll have another piece of clue. I guessed that we've to go to the gardens because its a one-word-in-japanese place. So i told them, in a softer tone. AGAIN, those members were like shhhh-ing me off. Fuck ok. They're like, younger than me. Can't they respect others with respect? By not telling those juniors to shut up and all, when we have our rights to speak. And discuss. Don't tell me we paid RM65 just to let people scold us, and shh-ing us up? Its annoying.
I don't think they deserve my respect.
What else, those who asked me to shut up and all are like in Form 2 and they don't really know me. Okay maybe for hours. HEY DONGS, I'M FORM 4, PLEASE GIVE SOME RESPECT, and i'll respect you too.
Brenda and i, are different. Because i know her quite well, and even when she's in Form 2, it doesn't matter because we know each other well! We don't even mind if we hit each other on our butts. It all depends. Corliss and i, she's like my close friend ever since 3rd of January '08. Hopefully it doesn't change.
I really, couldn't tolerate those kids anymore.
In my whole freaking camp days, MELVYN LEONG is the best leader ever! *applause* He deserve an applause. As what the prefect said, he's the best, outstanding, and someone who encourages his team to not give up and keep on trying.
And yes, back to camp. The first day ended with supper at 11pm. The teacher said lights will be out at 12am, sharp. So everyone went showering and all. Dang. The water's small some more. Sad ey. And i couldn't take it anymore but to wash my hair as well. It was oily already! I can't abide any oily hairs.
So i washed it. After showering and all, we went back to our respective rooms and WE MUST SLEEP.
I slept at about 1am i think. Because i couldn't sleep, but oh wells. I was talking to Carmen as well. We talked a little then slept. Shit man. I keep on waking up halfway through sleep.
I woke up at about...a few minutes before 6am because everyone were like walking in and out, and Carmen came to me, when i was trying to get another 15 minutes sleep. Sigh.
So what to do.
I went to brush my teeth and all. Chings.
Packed a little, and we've to go down to the assembly ground for our morning exercise. We jogged, and then when i just started the second round, shit man, my stomach hurts like shit, then the teacher asked me to stop and all. I couldn't stand or sit. Then the teacher got me some water.
Slowly, i felt better. When i want to join back the exercise, not jogging of course, the prefects didn't let me because its bad for my pain. Sigh.
After that, we went for breakfast. OH MILO. =D
Then Chapel, for our station games briefing. We started with 'human machine'. Sweat man. There's like 12 station games. The hard one was...the electric fence. Its like...some sort of high jump, but its not. We're not allowed to jump. We're supposed to help each other to transfer all of us through the fence without touching those 'electric wires'.
Shit ey. I think Jack, carried me when they were transfering me from one side to another through that limited space they gave. He, alone carried the heavy me. I salute you, Jack. Seriously, i'm not trying to say i'm heavy when i'm actually not. Because i am heavy. Some girls, who are like only less than 45kg said they're heavy. LIKE WTF LAH OK.
Corliss's underweight i think. She's boney! She reminds me of Geraldine. SHEEEEK.
And then other games are not really nice. Except for the library's one. We'll get splashed with water if we get the answer wrong. WET LIKE SHIT AFTER THAT, and i felt cold. (YES ARTHUR, ITS YOU WHO SPLASHED US. but you didn't splash me with water leh. i was like...the driest there.)
There's this game that...you got to collect water balloons. You'll have to save 2 water balloons whenever you get correct for answering a question. Melvyn 'stripped'. I mean, he took off his shirt so we'll get to save the water balloons. Because those water balloons will be thrown all the way down from the 3rd floor, to the ground floor. Jonathan and some other guy hold Melvyn's shirt. For the first few times, they sucked at saving water balloons. After the 3rd water balloon, Jonathan and the other guy were like...GOOD AT SAVING IT and they were getting better at saving them. =D
Dang.
After we complete all the task. We've to go back to the Chapel again. After assembling and whatnot, we went for lunch. LUNCHIE MOMENTS!
After eating, i went to Corliss in an unwell condition. I mean i was feeling a little unwell already. My head started spinning and all. & i just realized that my hair is wet for like approximately 2 hours, with it tied up. For 2 hours. Serve me right. Then it was the war game next. I couldn't carry on anymore...
Then my darling Corliss went to a facilitator to like, not let me play because i was feeling unwell. My head was hurting, and i felt like fainting.
My Chemistry teacher is the so-called doctor. Haha. She gave me 2 panadols, and i took like 1/3 cup of water. My Chemistry teacher was like, "AMBIL LAH AIR. SEKARANG CUACA NI PANAS." I was like oh ok ok. Then i drank water.
Slowly, i was recovering from that terrible headache.
Thank god i felt better.
After the stupid war game, we went back to the Chapel, to gather and get to know the prizes and all. Whoa, Melvyn's one of the outstanding leader. After receiving the gift, he shared it with us all, by asking us to take something from it. It was food anyway. JUNK FOOD.
After the closing ceremony of the leadership camp year 2008, we're supposed to take a picture with the facilitator. After the 'photographer' took our group picture, i took a personal picture with my facilitator - Jeremy.
Overall, Zeno's 11th placed. I don't really care much about it though. At least i learnt something - never judge a book by its cover.
Oh yes, there's one part i think. Its a part of the game, that we'll have to act out some movie, for the facilitator to guess. If the facilitator guessed right, we'll get the signature for a form. Then, Jonathan didn't want to play a part. (and yes, he's like a little sissified. worst than Johntay, really.) Melvyn went...
UHHHH I DONT WANT. Eh Jonathan, please be MANLY lah. UHHHHHHH.
Seriously ey, i was laughing.
Pictures! =D
Will be uploaded in the next post because blogger's being gay. Now.
....edit to add....
The opening ceremony? Cool eh? That's actually Corliss. I was about to take a proper picture of Corliss. BUT SHE GOT TO MOVE AROUND JUST BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT OF ME PUTTING THAT PICTURE INTO MY BLOG ONCE I TOUCH MY LAPTOP! My bestfriend-to-be Corliss and i. Friends, for life, right, Lissi? LISSI! (L) Oh, the boys dorm from my room's door. & this is Carl Mann. Looked so emo, no? It was taken without her knowledge. Corliss was saying i'm bad all night just because i took that picture without her knowledge. Us 3. Guess who are they? If you know, good lah! =3 Jasmine knows who they are. 0.0 THE BADGES! You gotta wear it on for the whole camp. My facilitator, Jeremy. I know i look funny lah ok! & fat.
THIS IS MELVYN LEONG. Trust me, he looks better in real life. You know, when i was about to take a picture with him. I got problem placing my phone, because he's tall, really. In this picture, he bent a little.
